Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Depression SUCKS, but Most People Hide It, Drink it, Snort it or Act Like It's Normal

Hal Lindsey, an American evangelist, best known for his books on end times prophecies, including the bestseller The Late Great Planet Earth, said:

“Man can live about forty days without food, about three days without water, about eight minutes without air...but only for one second without hope.”
 
 
 That seems a bit overstated, but I sort of get it. I understand how the blues, melancholy ... depression can get the best of you. I have never been tortured, imprisoned or starved. I certainly cannot understand how people like Corrie Ten Boom could endure. Yet, I hear that without a sense of knowing that tomorrow is a new day with new mercies, challenges and possibilities then one loses hope.
 
I have never been in the depth of darkness that would result in wanting to do harm to myself, but I have certainly felt the stresses and pressures of life for so long that there were times when darkness seemed swallow me. Most of us will never experience debilitating life-stressors, but we will have intense stress in our lives: financial, marital, business, family and the list goes on. Too many brush off stress and depression as if it's no big deal.
 
When I think about "brushing things off" it makes me think about my dad. My perception is probably skewed, but he didn't seem to like that my brother and I went to a dermatologist for acne problems. His solution: "Do like I did as a teenager, when you shave, just bleed." 
 
Interesting metaphor don't you think?
 
Another occasion that I recall about stamping down emotions occurred when I was a twelve year old boy and I saw my cousin accidently kill his friend. They were only a few feet from me and I had just turned around and told them to watch where they were pointing their rifles. The next thing I heard was the sound of gunfire. I whirled around and saw the shooter buckling to his knees screaming in total disbelief and anguish that he shot his friend. The victim was  lying on his back with his arms in the air and screaming "You shot me! You shot me!" while the blood began to spread across his chest.
 
That event happened amost 40 years ago, but because of suppressing this  trauma and the emotion,  it contributed  to some problems later in my life. I was never offered counseling to deal with that traumatic event, but I suppose in the early 1970s that counseling was not "acceptable." Family business was NOT to be discussed with strangers.

Let me clarify, I don't blame my parents for not getting me  counseling and it was not just the suppression of this event that contributed to problems in my life. Like many men, I tend to suppress many things. Better to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps than to admit you need help, right?