Having
passed a mid-Century now, I value play time more than ever. Yes, I said
PLAY. There is just not enough laughter
and joy right. I don’t want to become an old grumpy codger complaining about
what could have been.
I
was reading about the value of play for children, but I wonder how the same
arguments may apply to adults? According to a study by Smilansky and Shefatya
(1990)during play, children increase
their social competence and emotional maturity. Play is vital to children’s social
development. It enables children to do the following:
•Practice
both verbal and nonverbal communication skills by negotiating roles, trying to
gain access to ongoing play, and appreciating the feelings of others (Spodek
& Saracho, 1998).
•Respond
to their peers’ feelings while waiting for their turn and sharing materials and
experiences (Sapon-Shevin, Dobbelgere, Carrigan, Goodman, & Mastin, 1998;
Wheeler, 2004).
•Experiment
with roles of the people in their home, school, and community by coming into
contact with the needs and wishes of others (Creasey, Jarvis, & Berk, 1998;
Wheeler, 2004).
•Experience
others’ points of view by working through conflicts about space, materials, or
rules positively (Smilansky & Shefatya, 1990; Spodek & Saracho, 1998).
Okay
so what’s the point with adults? We have things to do, bills to pay and places
to go. We don’t have time to play. Stuart
Brown, a psychiatrist in California, s hooked
on playing. He made his office in a treehouse in Carmel Valley, Calif.
As
I think about the value of play for children, I wonder how many old-farts may
have forgotten that:
1.
We
have lost how to negotiate effectively. We just to win.
2.
We
have lost empathy for others.
3.
We
take ourselves and positions way too seriously.
4.
We
grab and demand what we want when we want.
Brown
wrote the book “Play: How It Shapes the
Brain, Opens the Imagination and Invigorates the Soul “(Penguin, $24.95). Find
regular time to play — or else, he warns in his new book. The opposite of play isn't work, he adds, but
depression. During his 40-year career, Brown looked into the lives of those
simmering to a boil without play time. He
worries many adults are not
finding time to play now as the economy forces them to work harder in offices
with smaller staffs, then head home to help with chores and rest before
starting it all over again. He writes that when we are in peril, "the
drive to play will disappear."
This
year of 2013 has been quite difficult. From my fahter’s long term girlfriend
dying to my stepfather being diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease. I have been
through problems with employee theft, transitioning my office and staff. I have
made changes in the way we conduct work and I have been through some serious bouts
of depression. Without the time for pleasurable activities, I would probably be
in the corner of room in fetal position sucking my thumb.
Life
is freaking hard. If we don’t have some fun, then it’s just sucks all the more.
I know we are under tremendous deadlines and we have obligations to our clients
and family, but take a moment and look into the horizon. Take a deep breath.
Then do something unexpected and exciting.
It
may not take much money to do it, but every now and then try something really
adventurous even if it does cost a little more. Try Skydiving, bungee-jumping,
white-water rafting. Go biking, hiking or spelunking. I have a buddy who dreams
of walking the entire Appalachian Trail. I hope he does it! I hope I do it too…at
least part of it.
So
what’s your bucket list? What do you want to do before it’s all said and done?
Go ahead and jump out there and just do a few of those things. You might find
that your outlook on life totally changes.
Last
year, I made a bucket list, but some of the things on the list had to with
paying off debt or reading books. Blah, blah. That’s no fun. Here is an updated
list:
1. Travel
to Spain/Portugal for fun
2. Drive by yourself from coast to coast.
Distance is an essential American pleasure, the greatest American chore. Each
of us must conquer it
3. Toboggan,
aggressively.
4. Sky
dive…again, but this time in the Fall when the leaves are changing color
5. Zip
line in the mountains
6. Go
to the Grand Canyon
7. Spend three days in New York City at the
Algonquin and see two Broadway plays and
visit the Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty
8. See
a whale (preferably a Blue Whale) in the
wild
9. Destroy a car with sledge hammer
10. Build
a raft and float it on a river
What's on your list? I hope you will share it here.
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