Recently I went to the funeral of the mother of a good friend. It was a joyful celebration of her life, but I know her sons and family will miss her so much.
Change can be painful.
Last week another friend buried her father. She had a complicated relationship with him, but the change n her life is painful too.
Today I saw another friend who is feeling the pangs of the empty nest. Many people look forward to the day when their kids go on to college, but for many of us it's not so easy. I understand his feelings. I felt them, I feel them.
Both of our daughters are married. We are so proud of them and their husbands. Yet, we miss them.
Change is painful. My daughter, Jessica, who lives in Boston with her husband, David, eloquently shared about change, the pain of it and what God desires to do in our lives through change. I hope it inspires you as it did me.
The leaves are turning yellow and orange. I remember the moment I saw the first patch of leaves in their brilliant color. I was riding my bike last week with David when it happened. The trees were passing us in their normalcy, and all the sudden, a few branches stuck out from the green waves with their fire of color. I was almost moved to tears. Change. My mind immediately thought about change.
I have understood the bittersweet ache of change like no other in the past 5 months. Life and its traditions are things I have been able to hold on to. The more I hold, the more that gets taken away. I keep telling myself, “just ride God’s wave, Jess. He is good.” But change it not easy. Like the changing leaves, there is an apparent change from what was once normal. Life does not come in its familiarity. It’s different, and one must adjust. David and I do not have our old friends laughing and eating with us. The table is filled with new faces, different laughs. And sometimes there are no faces at the table at all. Life has been lonely most days. There is a longing for the old colors and the old seasons. So when I passed those few orange leaves, alone and different from all the rest, I was struck in a connection to them. I too stick out. I am not like the Jessica of the past season. I look different. I act different and think different. Some things are over. The green colors of old are morphing into new oranges.
People have many opinions about change. There are probably equal amounts of people who say change is good as to those who say it is painful. I think a person’s perspective depends on what takes place in order for change to occur. Sometimes a person changes after something very painful has happened. Others change after a great blessing, like a new baby. For David and I the change has been painful, but I have been able to hold on through the comfort of God’s word. Two passages in particular: 2 Corinthians 4:16-17 and Isaiah 40:31
“ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us a glory that far outweighs them all.”
What this means is that the glory after suffering is going to be so great. Actually, it will be so great that it will make the present suffering pale in comparison to the coming glory. This verse is about hope.
Isaiah 40:31:
“For those who WAIT on the Lord, he will renew their strength. They will soar with wings, like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not grow faint.”
The pain of change has taught me the meaning of hope. We are able to suffer with joy when we know God has given us something greater in the future. The greater pain, the greater God’s glory will be seen. I used to think God was absent in pain or he was punishing his people for sin. Now I remember the cross, and I know that Christ was punished in my place. What is left for me now is closer and closer growth in righteousness. My flesh is dying, and more of God is being planted, toiled, pruned, and harvested in my spiritual life. The pain I am facing is for my good and for God’s glory. At the end of this suffering, I will see more of the face of Christ, and that is a face above all else that can satisfy.
Through pain I am learning patience. I never thought that word would come out of my mouth. “Patience” and Jessica mix about as well as oil and water. Despite the seeming impossibility, God is doing it. For example, my job search has required immense patience and trust. ... I am smiling while writing this. Wow, what a fantastic detour. I am now looking for a full-time position at a school as a secretary. The leaves are looking different. They are changing shades with each turn, and it is obvious I am not on the same road that I started on, but I have an almost eerie sense of patience. ... The distrust turns to trust and the despair turns into hope. I am being tested, and God is winning. He is winning for me, through me. He is holding me.
Good things are coming....Nothing is outside his good, guiding hand.
...while we experience the bitter seasons of change, may we all look at the autumn leaves and be reminded that beauty is coming.
Go under the mercy,
Jessica
Thanks Jessica for the inspiring and encouraging words.
Dad
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