"It's better to be more interested than interesting"

Do you remember the Billy Crystal segment on SNL years ago as Fernando Lamas: "It's better to rook good than to feel good."  Well, that advice may not be the best, but in attempting to make contacts and influence people there is something to be said about "It's better to be more interested than interesting."

 

As we move into the "conference season" there will be plenty of opportunities to make contacts, but believe it  or not, lawyers struggle with "ego." They tend to "toot their horn" much more than they take an interest in the client. Consider the advice of Scott Dinsmore, contributor to Forbes Magazine, in "The Seven Pillars of Connecting With Absolutely Anyone"  that "interested people" are set apart.

 

His finding are simple and just about any lawyer can do them.  Dinsmore points out, "I don’t care what your goals, industry or interests are, there’s no getting around it: Personal relationships run the world." 

 

 1. Be genuine. The only connections that work will be the ones that you truly care about; the world will see through anything short of that. If you don’t have a genuine interest in the person, then stop trying.

 

2. Provide massive help. Even the biggest and most powerful people in the world have something they’d like help with. Too many people never reach out to those above them due to the fear that they wouldn’t be able to offer anything in return. But you have more to offer than you realize. You may write an article about them, share their project with your community, and offer to spread their message through a video interview with them. 

 

Are you getting the point here? It's NOT about you! Give real thought on how you can  benefit their goals. If it turns out you can’t be that helpful, at least you made genuine gesture.

 

3. Pay ridiculous attention. If you don’t pay attention -- genuine attention -- then how can you expect to be of service? Do your research by reading blog posts, books and articles about the connection beforehand. Learn about their backgrounds and passions. Invest genuine time in learning what really matters to them and how you can help.

 

4. Connect with people close to them. You arrive with credibility when referred by a mutual friend to someone you want to meet. Spend more time connecting with your current network of friends and colleagues and see where it leads.

 

Have you ever been to an event, where you are talking to someone and then he  sees someone "more important" and snubs you? That person will never get a recommendation from me. Be sure you don't make the same mistake by snubbing someone you think is less important.

 

 5. Persistence wins.  The first attempt is just the very beginning. Realize that the first try may get you nowhere, but the fifth or the tenth tries are the ones that start to yield results. An unreturned email or voicemail doesn’t mean they don’t want to connect with you. It’s your job to be persistent! Usually only about 2 percent of the initial contacts ever follow up. Don’t be in a hurry, but don’t be invisible either.

 

6. Make real friends. Think about how you’ve made the friends you have. That’s all this is. You only make friends with people you genuinely want in your life. I have learned this lesson from Dirk Beckwith from Michigan. Dirk and I met several years ago as we served on an ethics panel at the annual Transportation Lawyers Association. I like Dirk. He is easy to chat with and there is no "hard sale." He doesn't over think it. He enjoys getting to know people and spending time with them, even if it's not a client contact.

 

Be human, be helpful and most people will happily be human in return, regardless of who they are.

 

7. Remain unforgettable. This doesn't mean being  an obnoxiously loud, overbearing "know it all."  Instead do the memorable things such as send birthday cards. Mail your favorite book with a signed personal note from you on the inside flap.

Be genuinely helpful. You’d be surprised how the simplest things actually never get done. Being memorable isn’t as hard as some think!" I recently made a  note that one of my clients is particularly interested in the Louisiana Brown Pelican so I am on the lookout for an interesting picture or token. 

 

Also, many of our clients appreciate the pralines or coffee that we send them. It's just a way to be set apart, but all of that is completely for nothing  if we don't genuinely care.  The world is run by relationships... yes, even today!

 

I think I get most bothered when I lose a client that I have fostered a friendship, but there are many reasons that this can happen and none of them may be because of a relationship problem.

 

I would prefer to make the effort of developing a relationship and caring about the client's interests than just having a client because of the short-term gain of a few dollars.  The lawyer that gets this will certainly have an easier time practicing law... and actually making a good living at it.

Not to mention being happier... relationships make our lives richer!