THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, in Lawyerspeak

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur

at a certain improved piece of real property (herinafter "the House")

a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but

not limited to a mouse.



A variety of foot apparel, e.g. stockings, socks, etc, had been affixed

by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and or belief that

St. Nick a/k/a St. Nicholas a/k/a Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus")

would arrive at sometime thereafter.



The minor residents, i.e. the children, of aforementioned House

were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal

hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein visions of confectionary treats,

including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did

dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.



Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred

to as "I"), being joint owner in fee simple of the House with the parts

of the second part (hereinafter "Mama"), and said Mama retired for a

sustained period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in

various forms of headgear, e.g. kerchief and cap.)



Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon

such unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House,

i.e. the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or

circumstance.



The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the

House to investigate the cause of such disturbance. At that time,

the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder

and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter "the Vehicle) being

pulled and/ or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately

eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspirators

by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen

(hereinafter "the Deer").



(Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional

co-conspirator named "Rudolph" may have been involved.)



The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer

intentionally and willfully trespass upon roofs of several residences

located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that

the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of

unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or

permission, wither express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House

and Claus entered said House via the chimney.



Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with

residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a

portion of the aforementioned packages, toys and other unknown items.

He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant

violation of local ordinances and health regulations.



Claus did not speak but immediately began to fill the stockings of the

minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other

small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute "gifts" to said

minor children pursuant to the applicable provisions of the US Tax

Code).



Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and

flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof

where the Vehicle and the Deer waited an/or served as "lookouts." Claus

immediately departed for an unknown destination.



However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from the

House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim:

"Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!" Or words to that

effect.